I wear black


Glamover – It’s like a hangover, but glam by hallaek

No better time than as the holidays approach to relax, spend time with friends, and (if one is of legal age, of course) partake in an alcoholic beverage, or eight. You’re not like all the rest, though. When you go to a holiday party, heads turn. As you weave through the room various people grab your arm, asking where you got that and how you thought to pair velvet with sneakers — you’re just too fabulous, perhaps even for life itself.

So the night ends and you won the eggnog chugging contest, which was easy as you were the sole participant, but what does this tell of the future? Surely the morning after tossing back festive liquor won’t be a nice one, in fact it’ll likely be a naughty one, but either way this is you and you will not partake in this hangover nonsense. There is hope for you, oh breathtakingly cool one, as hangover’s got a new friend: her name is ‘Glamover’ and she is fierce, just like you.

Glam-o-ver (noun):

  1. Ill effects caused by drinking an excess of alcohol whilst being fabulous.
  2. A fabulous thing that has survived from the past.

Google definitions don’t lie.

The curse of glamover sufferers is that outsiders assume our morning-after pain is lesser than theirs, which is not true, it just looks better aesthetically. Underneath the sunnies, fur, and jewelry are the deafening moans of a very hungover person.

Slide1Slide3Slide2Slide4Slide5

Make your hangover fab. Make it a glamover.



DIY Sunday: Jewelry Toques by hallaek

Judging by that title one may deduce that I am lacking creativity, and am Canadian; hopefully no correlation is made between the two. I am slowly (willingly) transforming myself into a cat, because why not, so that plus cold weather spurned a Eugenia Kim purchase. I still felt like partaking in the arts & crafts, though I blame my lack of effort in title-ing due to already being ‘hat-ready’ for winter. I’m saving my ingenious wordplay for the post featuring knit cat ears.

In the first of our DIY Sundays, assuming crafts become a staple hangover cure, the inspiration was a knit beanie with varying gem pieces sewn onto it. While the original hat had a clear design, it would be easier for our purposes and much more on-trend if we approached the bedazzling in a more relaxed way — think accidental bling. A few quick shopping stops to grab a hot glue gun, some plain toques, and cheap junk jewelry to break up and without spending more than $30 each we were set.

Most of craft time was spent staring at our hats, as if Matilda-styles gems would start floating and dancing and landing in place looking sweet, but that didn’t happen so we had a potato chip break. Eventually we all got quiet and down to business and within a couple of hours we had three very different looking hats in front of us — because we were all wearing them all night, inside.

Mine began as an explosion of jewels from one corner, but then I draped an old necklace on it/over my eye and as a huge fan of things I can hide behind, was sold. Christianne’s is definitely an explosion of various bling and she even sewed it all down, so you know she’s legit. And Jacinta, whose idea sparked the evening’s activity, created a kind of traditional zig-zag pattern, only entirely in beads and jewelry — both hers and Christianne’s look like something you would pay $60 for at Club Monaco, or J.Crew. Then mine looks like I wore a hat, then I wore a necklace, but on my forehead. Art!

C.

J.

H.

Try it yourself!



Situation: Pre-Shop – Maison Martin Margiela for H&M by hallaek

Thanks to the ladies at She Does The City I won entrance into the pre-shop for the highly coveted Margiela collection at H&M the night before it opened to the public this morning at 8 am. Had I not been awarded the best award of all awards allowing my passage through the doors of the Bloor Street H&M into ‘MMMHeaven’ last night, you know I would’ve awoken at the crack of dawn and stood in line with my fellow ‘MMMHeads’ — and I’m sure these very specific fangirl terms I just made up will soon catch on, you’ll see. I thought maybe because it was a pre-shop that the atmosphere would be more relaxed than the chaos I was sure would ensue the next morning, but now I see the naivety in such thinking.

We arrived early expecting to wait in line, and found one that went around the block, but it started moving quickly so we devised our scheme to divide and conquer. Another line that looped around the store’s main level was waiting for us inside. One by one crazed shoppers walked as fast as they could up the escalator, because running is gauche, and as we moved around we looked up to see a lucky lady who had grabbed every single glossy candy wrapper clutch. I heard women all around me sigh with loss as she stacked those purses under her arm and walked off; we all knew that look, that determination: they were hers now. (While there was a limit of four per type of item, everyone came with a +1 so it was easy to sidestep that rule.)

We had four in our group, but it was everyone for themselves on the second floor.

As we turned the corner to face the front of the store where the merchandise was grouped, all we saw was a sea of bodies. The area had been open for about five minutes and already most of it was in huge piles in people’s arms. Not one of us in the gang spoke or even looked at each other, we just dispersed. Ducking down with what I’ll call ‘torpedo theory’ thinking that if I made myself more compact and led with my head I’d be able to weave through the crowd, I went straight to the coats wanting to find the most enormous of anything before some trendy competition grabbed it. I did quite well climbing through racks and saying “sorry” compulsively to trick people into thinking I was polite and not a blood-hungry Margiela fiend, but I hadn’t found an available duvet coat and if anything I had to try on that coat.

Christianne and I met back in line — she had grabbed the last pair of oversized jeans, I stared at her jealously. As we waited, and patiently at that might I add, Christianne taking on the role of pseudo-mother as I’ve mentioned she’s wont to do asked a sales associate if there was any way I could just try on one of the down coats. Obviously there wasn’t anything she could do, but I was just grateful that Christianne asked, what a gal! We went in, tried on, made out like bandits, and then I realized I was missing a certain furry part of my personality. The grey vintage fur I had walked in with was no longer on my shoulders. We had our first casualty.

It all meant nothing if that fur was gone! It was such a find! I started yelling out to anyone who would listen about my lost baby — sorry, fur. Scampering around like Jodie Foster in Flightplan, I finally saw it draped over the arm of another sales associate who I hugged, maybe cried a bit on, and of course thanked profusely. In the flurry of losing something I already owned, I had missed out on my chance at getting my hands on what had drawn me here originally, that damn coat. Someone had put one back, but I watched a woman quicker and less hysterical than I grab it and walk off. I happened to be standing right behind this woman when I reclaimed my fur, and she had turned her back on the down garment. So I snatched it. And it looked horrible on me. And then I realized they were now hanging up all over the place, so there went that dream.

Downstairs I snagged a pair of oversized jeans hanging by the dressing rooms and the two of us, survivors, looked for our lost members. One was in line to pay, the other, Emily, didn’t make it. I hear she went down like a pro though, taking many flutes of champagne with her — in other words the frenzy wasn’t worth it for her, but free booze is always grand. Christianne and I joined our fellow survivor, Adam, in line as we compared our spoils of war. Adam had a white box. All the white boxes upstairs were gone, but there was one in his hands. And in inside was the one bracelet I wanted. “Where did you get that.” I didn’t ask, I demanded. I felt my warrior instinct return, it was on. He calmly replied with their location, like it was no big deal. There were more.

Then we all calmed down, or I did, and my war hero went up and grabbed me my own watch strap bangle and I saved his spot in line. When we woke up, we realized it had all been a dream.

No, not really. After paying, Christianne and I hung back to drink as a means to downplay the cost. Two women approached us, beaten down by the chaos of the second floor, and openly envied our purchases. They had seen us upstairs and knew what we had been holding onto, they would try their luck in the morning at the Eaton Centre. We shared tales of fifteen minutes earlier and the hardships endured, downed our drinks and walked out into the cold. We were both a little lighter and a little heavier, because damn those bags were heavy.

3/4 of the gang

the line

the end

the goods

2nd floor

Thanks Christianne for the pictures, as always.



Lazy Sunday at the Everything to do with Sex Show by hallaek

A Sunday afternoon; the perfect time to relax, sleep off that hangover, eat various breakfast foods — well this past Sunday we took our sausage (literally), and added a side of eggs (also literal). We went to the Everything to do with Sex Show at the Metro Toronto Convention Centre. Being a Toronto native I’d heard of the show before, but this was my first time in attendance. Now having had the time to mull the entire experience over I can say one thing for certain: you need to go to the Everything to do with Sex Show at least once in your life. Just do it ®

The ‘Show was setup like a trade show, but with a focus on audience participation and latex. My best friend/photographer/pseudo-mother, Christianne, and I weren’t interested in spending money (because let’s face it – we gots our sex paraphernalia covered) so we hightailed it to the back where the Dungeon lay in its dirty little corner. There was no photography allowed inside the area, so already you know it’s good, but it was so much more than either of us expected.

A corner with a woman chained to a wooden X whilst being whipped, another with one being tied up to hang from a wooden beam structure, and your casual wooden block over which ladies bend to receive their spanking. There was more to the area, but those were the immovable features. We joined the crowd of spectators, though we felt more like voyeurs, as various women got off on their unique kinks — and I do mean “got off,” that first X-lady did so twice! The crowd was proud of her, so was her ‘whipper’.

In all honesty, we kind of turned back into high schoolers with our shifty eyes and awkward giggles, though glad to report we were over that after the first wave of getting off. We left the Dungeon area to catch the Latex and Lace Fashion Show, and had a chance to chat before the models came on stage. While we had only been there for about 20 minutes, we already met an experience that was unlike anything we’ve ever encountered before, and we didn’t like our reactions to it. Christianne and I consider ourselves to be open, playful, and even kinky, but it wasn’t until then that we realized how secretive we are about our sexuality.

It’s perfect timing to come to the realization that you could be holding back right as a bunch of confident women in skimpy lingerie and skin-tight leather and latex start to strut down the runway, and I mean that sincerely. I’ve been to my fair share of fashion shows and typically the women are the kind of skinny that causes serious self-doubt and unfortunately they rarely look like they’re enjoying what they’re doing, but these models at the Everything to do with Sex Show had an opposite effect on me. Each model had a personality, their own walk, and genuinely looked to be enjoying the whole experience. The show almost wasn’t about what they were wearing, it seemed to be more about their bodies and how proud they were of them regardless of the ensemble. There was short, curvy, thin, booty, bust, even some green hair — basically hands down the best runway show experience I’ve ever had.

The rest of the afternoon was spent weaving in and out of booths to see some of the novelty sex gizmos and gadgets that were alien to us before Sunday and we observed the trend of female guest participation at these various stands. And coincidentally enough as I noticed all these women eager to join in on the fun, I saw a sign on a table of books and DVDs that made mention of “The Feminist Porn Awards” and everything started to fall into place. I am holding onto an old way of thinking when I breach the topic of sex, and that’s clear now. These women that participated and just had fun, they get it. They have no need to worry about what someone might think, because they are comfortable 100% with who they are, and that’s meant pretty literally inside and out.

The juxtaposition of the ‘Sex Show fashion show versus the common one is almost an all-encompassing example of what I realized that day. In the world of fashion we are basically taught to keep things straight lace, just look at the rigidity of what is allowed and not in a typical show. Compared to what is sought after, cheered on, and proudly shown off in the fashion shows of the Everything to do with Sex world, also considering the variety of looks and body types, there is no surprise that I found myself resisting the carefree attitude of the patrons and professionals of the ‘Show.

I am so glad I had the opportunity to attend the Everything to do with Sex Show, because there is no doubt I left having learned a bit more about the world, and something about myself as well. I stand in awe of these people who wear their sexuality on their sleeve, as it were. We are all but mammals, we are all sexual beings, and it’s a shame that we’ve been taught to keep what feels natural and good to us behind closed doors. But then I guess that’s the real reason why the ‘Sex Show is open to the public, so we can have such experiences in a safe and controlled space with like-minded or at least curious individuals, and hopefully leave with a part of you that was once closed a bit more open, or at least a little less buried within.

In other words: time to start werkin’ this booty.




Doodles, Dinosaurs & Dixie by hallaek

Way back when (in 2009) I read a post over at Sea of Shoes that featured classically shaped furniture covered in canvas and drawn all over by kids. Alright, drawn all over by children, at a hospital, for charity; there was a cause. Well I found a chair for $50 over at the Elegant Garage Sale and had my own cause: to recreate that awesome Sea of Shoes chair.

It was a year before I actually started working on the project when I eagerly wrote a post about it here on this blog. I quickly ran into a problem. Not knowing any children and not really trusting any of them with my soon-to-be awesome chair I was begging my sister and friends to help me cover all the fabric in doodles. Adults can doodle for a while, but then our imagination runs out and someone threatens to scribble down a curse word and there goes that afternoon activity. Perhaps it’s needless to say that the chair sat with many a bald spot for months on end, but here I am saying (typing) it.

The chair, in all its incomplete glory, came in handy last year when I competed in BAM! – the She Does the City video contest. At the start of each video I wrote the corresponding title on the chair and it probably became the most memorable part because..who draws all over a chair? But after that, after I did not win the aforementioned contest, the chair became untouchable, almost sacred. Maybe I thought the chair was bad luck, maybe I’m just making excuses. The good news is that the chair is finally complete!

If you’re a jewelry connoisseur, comme moi, then you’ve seen the multitude of necklaces covered in rainbow thread, or the sudden over-accessibility of neon-coloured rhinestone collars — Tom Binns would be spinning in his grave, you know, if he were not alive. While I’m not necessarily jumping all over the trend (not shocking with my devotion to black) I like the idea of childhood whimsy behind it.

Rainbow thread brings me back to senior kindergarten when the coolest, most popular girl, Courtney, put rainbow thread in her running shoes and won all the boys’ fancy and clearly some of the girls’. Now my most favourite pieces reflect my childhood from my cat covered Miu Mius to my Cinderella-esque Pradas and most recently my navy and white Isabel Marants that look identical to my first pair of Spice Girls-era platform sneakers. Kitties, Disney, and Girl Power — my life as a little girl in a nutshell, now interpreted in high fashion.

 Embrace your past and wear your inner-child on your neck. And maybe add a dinosaur, or two.

Rainbow thread necklaces: Forever21, rhinestone: vintage, sunglasses: Karen Walker, t-rex: Tatty Devine.



Unicorny by hallaek
November 2, 2011, 2:07 pm
Filed under: Fashion, Misc. | Tags: , , , , , ,

I have to post about Hallowe’en, just have to. Also Cruzface did my make-up, which was phenomenal so that can’t pass without postage. As many trendy females this year were either My Little Pony or a Unicorn you can guess what my costume was: supposed-to-be-unicorn-mistaken-for-shark-with-pony-hair. Only men thought I was a shark, the women beside them usually chimed in to correct, but in all fairness the horn is silver. And sharks are known for their eye for shiny/sparkly things, oh wait…

I’m also supposed to be doing laundry. Sorry squirrelfriend.

the horniest

yes, they're event photos OK

sorry part two, gargoyle

there's a nice one

Must do laundry, must do laundry, must do laundry…



Hairplay by hallaek
October 17, 2011, 1:54 am
Filed under: Beauty, Misc. | Tags: , , , , ,

I guess my hair is pretty. And I guess my hair is pretty fun. And I guess my hair is pretty fun – to play with! So that’s what Cruz did. She played with it. She played with it so hard (TWSS). I’m currently getting the flu out-of-the-way in an organization kick, so thank goodness I was saving these photos.

Also I realize my Intsagram-ing is getting out of hand, so I’m going to pass the blame to the aforementioned chick.

s'cute

s'crazy

s'crazier

s'classic

via Instagram.



Greetings from my cave by hallaek
September 28, 2011, 2:05 am
Filed under: Misc. | Tags: ,

This morning I had my Facebook password changed. Then this afternoon I had my Twitter password changed (but my account is public so I saw what you tweeted, Mina). The blog is too personal to hand over to anyone so I still have some semblance of a grasp in the interweb, or whatever it’s called, and with this small bit of reach I give you this:

Fuck. Nick Cage and I share hairstyles.

I’m not from the valley either. But at Crestwood Valley Day Camp I got an award from my counsellors for my mean valley girl impression, if that means anything. Now back to the hermit way.



MuchMusic Part 2 (But better than that.) by hallaek
August 30, 2011, 5:43 pm
Filed under: Misc. | Tags: , , , ,

I love American Apparel. That should really be the second thing I tell people about myself after my obvious love affair with dark coloured clothing. I own pretty much all of it. In various colours. Sometimes various sizes. Even some pieces they stopped making because they were not the best of styles – I got it. I worked there for a summer where I bought everything in sight (50% off employee discount, hello) and then I just kept buying because their styles seemed to evolve as I did, it just worked. Kismet. Simpatico. An affinity for one another, which is a line I once used in an American Apparel interview some time ago. Last summer I decided I was done with this short skirt thing, I want a long one! BAM. They release the double layer chiffon maxi skirt, first released in black at the location closest to me. It appeared in a post shortly thereafter.

With what I’m about to say that whole first paragraph sounds like a bunch of sucking up, but please believe me when I say (type) this: it comes from the heart.

...is hopefully me.

They’re releasing a larger series of clothing – size XL. This means I can buy more, own more, wear more, keep the economy going and hopefully keep them out of debt for good this time! There is a contest to find that curvy girl to represent, as the kids would say, and I want to be her.

CHECK ME OUT.

I am obviously in dire need of your votes. Please.



Everything is blue for her by hallaek
August 26, 2011, 6:09 pm
Filed under: Beauty, Misc. | Tags: , , , ,

This is solely a hair update. If you care. Otherwise, check this out!

I'm blue.

Via Urban Outfitters.




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