I wear black


Lazy Sunday at the Everything to do with Sex Show by hallaek

A Sunday afternoon; the perfect time to relax, sleep off that hangover, eat various breakfast foods — well this past Sunday we took our sausage (literally), and added a side of eggs (also literal). We went to the Everything to do with Sex Show at the Metro Toronto Convention Centre. Being a Toronto native I’d heard of the show before, but this was my first time in attendance. Now having had the time to mull the entire experience over I can say one thing for certain: you need to go to the Everything to do with Sex Show at least once in your life. Just do it ®

The ‘Show was setup like a trade show, but with a focus on audience participation and latex. My best friend/photographer/pseudo-mother, Christianne, and I weren’t interested in spending money (because let’s face it – we gots our sex paraphernalia covered) so we hightailed it to the back where the Dungeon lay in its dirty little corner. There was no photography allowed inside the area, so already you know it’s good, but it was so much more than either of us expected.

A corner with a woman chained to a wooden X whilst being whipped, another with one being tied up to hang from a wooden beam structure, and your casual wooden block over which ladies bend to receive their spanking. There was more to the area, but those were the immovable features. We joined the crowd of spectators, though we felt more like voyeurs, as various women got off on their unique kinks — and I do mean “got off,” that first X-lady did so twice! The crowd was proud of her, so was her ‘whipper’.

In all honesty, we kind of turned back into high schoolers with our shifty eyes and awkward giggles, though glad to report we were over that after the first wave of getting off. We left the Dungeon area to catch the Latex and Lace Fashion Show, and had a chance to chat before the models came on stage. While we had only been there for about 20 minutes, we already met an experience that was unlike anything we’ve ever encountered before, and we didn’t like our reactions to it. Christianne and I consider ourselves to be open, playful, and even kinky, but it wasn’t until then that we realized how secretive we are about our sexuality.

It’s perfect timing to come to the realization that you could be holding back right as a bunch of confident women in skimpy lingerie and skin-tight leather and latex start to strut down the runway, and I mean that sincerely. I’ve been to my fair share of fashion shows and typically the women are the kind of skinny that causes serious self-doubt and unfortunately they rarely look like they’re enjoying what they’re doing, but these models at the Everything to do with Sex Show had an opposite effect on me. Each model had a personality, their own walk, and genuinely looked to be enjoying the whole experience. The show almost wasn’t about what they were wearing, it seemed to be more about their bodies and how proud they were of them regardless of the ensemble. There was short, curvy, thin, booty, bust, even some green hair — basically hands down the best runway show experience I’ve ever had.

The rest of the afternoon was spent weaving in and out of booths to see some of the novelty sex gizmos and gadgets that were alien to us before Sunday and we observed the trend of female guest participation at these various stands. And coincidentally enough as I noticed all these women eager to join in on the fun, I saw a sign on a table of books and DVDs that made mention of “The Feminist Porn Awards” and everything started to fall into place. I am holding onto an old way of thinking when I breach the topic of sex, and that’s clear now. These women that participated and just had fun, they get it. They have no need to worry about what someone might think, because they are comfortable 100% with who they are, and that’s meant pretty literally inside and out.

The juxtaposition of the ‘Sex Show fashion show versus the common one is almost an all-encompassing example of what I realized that day. In the world of fashion we are basically taught to keep things straight lace, just look at the rigidity of what is allowed and not in a typical show. Compared to what is sought after, cheered on, and proudly shown off in the fashion shows of the Everything to do with Sex world, also considering the variety of looks and body types, there is no surprise that I found myself resisting the carefree attitude of the patrons and professionals of the ‘Show.

I am so glad I had the opportunity to attend the Everything to do with Sex Show, because there is no doubt I left having learned a bit more about the world, and something about myself as well. I stand in awe of these people who wear their sexuality on their sleeve, as it were. We are all but mammals, we are all sexual beings, and it’s a shame that we’ve been taught to keep what feels natural and good to us behind closed doors. But then I guess that’s the real reason why the ‘Sex Show is open to the public, so we can have such experiences in a safe and controlled space with like-minded or at least curious individuals, and hopefully leave with a part of you that was once closed a bit more open, or at least a little less buried within.

In other words: time to start werkin’ this booty.


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Everything to do with SEX (also, free tickets) by hallaek

I have a pair tickets to give away to the Everything to do with Sex Show, which is running in Toronto in the South Building of the Metro Toronto Convention Centre from November 2-4.

Want these tickets? Then tweet me @hallaek and tell me what you’re looking forward to checking out at the ETDWSS, also make sure to hashtag your tweet #YYZsex and include a mention of the ‘Sex Show at @The_Sex_Show.

If you’ve ever been in contact with me, and I mean even minimal-barely-know-my-name contact, then you know my mum is an OBGYN. No, I’m not telling you what that stands for. Yes, you’ll have to google it yourself. And yes, I suppose it is a bit odd that that’s a piece of information about myself I share more freely than my horoscope, but let’s just call it a quirk. An upbringing with such a mother (who as George W. Bush once put in is in the business of “women loving”) has certainly had an effect on how I view womanhood and sex; in other words for me it is and always has been very open.

Now that you know more about me, and that’s whether you wanted such personal information or not, it should come as no surprise that I am drawn to the Everything to do with Sex Show. It’s no secret that women in the past had been given less leeway when it comes to embracing sex and sexuality since usually it came with a less than desirable label, and while we’re not completely out of the woods yet, it is thanks to initiatives like the Everything to do with Sex Show that a topic that was once taboo and in the shadows can come into the light and be embraced with a ‘good-times’ spirit.

A couple years ago I was looking for something to do that would make me sweat (heyo!) and wasn’t the gym, when I came across pole dancing classes. I had a whole mess of misconceptions about what I was getting myself into prior to the class: that it’d be full of pros, that I’d be laughed out for my awkward idea of ‘sexy,’ and worst of all I kept asking myself, “What am I going to tell people I’m doing when they ask?” While I wasn’t afraid of telling my parents that my new extra-curricular was working it out on a brass pole, since there had always been this open-ness thanks to mom, I was worried about what my friends, acquaintances, co-workers, and anyone else who asked why I was busy Tuesday and Thursday nights would think.

When I got to the class, everything changed. This wasn’t a place where how sexy the woman beside you is was put into competition, and it certainly wasn’t a place where anyone laughed if your sexy improv dancing between moves was questionable. It was a place where you let go of any hold-ups you had outside the room and just accepted your sexuality for what it was, and you got to stretch and dance a bit and have fun while you were at it. I remember walking in to my first advanced class a few months later and upon seeing my new classmates I found myself thinking all those negative things again, and then regretted being the curvy girl in tight shorts — even though I had thought they looked banging before I left the house — beside all these lithe, pole-spinning beauties. Of course, all the women in there were just as lovely, open, and supportive as everyone else I had met so far in this adventure, but I had such strongly pronounced pre-conceived notions about what I thought sexy was supposed to be based on general and public opinion, that it was easy to revert back to that place.

I’ve learned a lot from living with the person I was lucky enough to get as a mom, and my experience pole dancing opened my eyes to some of the stereotypes I was holding onto and thankfully dismissed them. I left that class comfortable with what my version of sexy was, open to the fact that there are just as many personalities within sexuality as within fashion, and just generally feeling more confident. At The Everything to do with Sex Show you’ll find this environment: a place where sexuality is fluid, fun, and easy-going. And if my tale of pole dancing has intrigued you, then look no further than the ETDWSS as a starting point since their Sexy Fitness Zone includes a few pole dancing demonstrations, as well as other fun ways to exercise sexily like partnered yoga and hoola-hooping. And the more I try to picture what sexy fitness hoola-hooping entails the more curious I am — I’m definitely going to be watching that demonstration, and maybe I’ll have a new extra-curricular to spring on my parents.

The ETDWSS also includes a ‘Lace and Latex’ fashion show, burlesque performances, an exotic male review, and a hypnotist. Add erotic art and rooms specifically for the kink you love and the Everything to do with Sex Show has a little bit of something for everyone. Wait, did I forget to mention that there would be Canadian Playboy cover models there? Yeah. You should go to the ‘Sex Show.




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