I wear black


Glamover – It’s like a hangover, but glam by hallaek

No better time than as the holidays approach to relax, spend time with friends, and (if one is of legal age, of course) partake in an alcoholic beverage, or eight. You’re not like all the rest, though. When you go to a holiday party, heads turn. As you weave through the room various people grab your arm, asking where you got that and how you thought to pair velvet with sneakers — you’re just too fabulous, perhaps even for life itself.

So the night ends and you won the eggnog chugging contest, which was easy as you were the sole participant, but what does this tell of the future? Surely the morning after tossing back festive liquor won’t be a nice one, in fact it’ll likely be a naughty one, but either way this is you and you will not partake in this hangover nonsense. There is hope for you, oh breathtakingly cool one, as hangover’s got a new friend: her name is ‘Glamover’ and she is fierce, just like you.

Glam-o-ver (noun):

  1. Ill effects caused by drinking an excess of alcohol whilst being fabulous.
  2. A fabulous thing that has survived from the past.

Google definitions don’t lie.

The curse of glamover sufferers is that outsiders assume our morning-after pain is lesser than theirs, which is not true, it just looks better aesthetically. Underneath the sunnies, fur, and jewelry are the deafening moans of a very hungover person.

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Make your hangover fab. Make it a glamover.

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Sexy Sushi at the Everything to do with Sex Show Launch Party by hallaek

Last night I attended the launch party for the Everything to do with Sex Show at Oasis Aqua Lounge, and was able to cross a little something off my bucket list. When I was 15 during TIFF I walked by a basement restaurant and peered in to see naked people covered in sushi as guests casually mingled around, every so often taking a bite of spicy salmon. I had never seen anything like it, besides in the movies, but decided in that moment that one day I was going to eat sushi off a naked person and I was going to like it! Well, last night it happened. I ate sushi off a beautiful naked woman — twice. Her name was Ms. Kitty and she has a shell-fish allergy, but with some leaves between her skin and the sushi everything went swimmingly (fish puns), though it has to be said that she’s a serious trooper.

The Everything to do with Sex Show opens today, Nov. 2nd, so last night was a raunchy kick-off to what’s bound to be an even raunchier weekend. Upon arrival we were escorted upstairs where there was a room that was all bed (no filler) as well as several bed-like-couch things lining adjoining rooms with baskets of condoms and Lysol wipes on each side table. I must say that beyond the human sushi boat, one of the most interesting things I found was how they were able to keep their signage safe-sex informative, yet cuddly — it’s what I imagine signs would like should Disney World open an up-scale sex club.

Before the party I did a bit of research so I would be able to spot the celebrity guests, whose claims to fame varied from porn star to sex columnist to dirty hypnotist, and I was lucky enough to bump into the gorgeous Taylor Stevens, who is a self-made webcam starlet, right off the top. I had been on her website earlier that day, which has shot after shot of her very impressive cleavage, and as a gal who isn’t as stacked up there all I could think about while talking to her was how badly I wanted to compliment her boobs, but somehow I managed to keep that under my hat and talk shop — who knows, I may want to start my own webcam biz someday and she’d be the best person to ask for some advice. She told me she was met with many naysayers when she was embarking on this journey and these haters’ main reason? They thought she was too big for the industry when she started.

It was Stevens’ candour on this matter that really drew me into her, as I have also struggled with my size and what that means for my sexuality, and the fact that she was so open and dismissive about the idea that her size at the time could qualify as an issue, gave me in one word: hope. I felt hope because we need successful women in such industries speaking out honestly and with pride in their voice about those extra curves that so easily draw criticism, when there is absolutely no need for it — and she knew it. Her words for all those people who nit-picked her size in the beginning? “Just watch me.”

As the night progressed outfits became less on and more off, and that includes patrons who had taken a dip in the heated outdoor pool and rejoined the party wrapped in towels. I also saw Ms. Kitty downstairs wrapped in one of those towels, so hopefully that means she was able to wash any shell-fish residue away — I couldn’t get over her, she has that kind of super chill attitude I feel I can only aspire to. The night ended with a burlesque/pole dancing performance complete with a stripped off kimono to reveal nipple tassels, and I knew my night was complete.

Tickets are still available for purchase to the Everything to do with Sex Show where you’ll find essentially all of what I just mentioned plus much, much more. And congratulations are due to Ryan LaPlante who won the pair of tickets I had to give away to the ETDWSS, but don’t let that stop you from checking out the gals, the guys, and above all, the skin! Maybe I’ll see you there? I’ll be the girl with her own brand new pair of nipple tassels, I hear they’re the new hot accessory for winter 2012.




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