I wear black

Sexy Sushi at the Everything to do with Sex Show Launch Party by hallaek

Last night I attended the launch party for the Everything to do with Sex Show at Oasis Aqua Lounge, and was able to cross a little something off my bucket list. When I was 15 during TIFF I walked by a basement restaurant and peered in to see naked people covered in sushi as guests casually mingled around, every so often taking a bite of spicy salmon. I had never seen anything like it, besides in the movies, but decided in that moment that one day I was going to eat sushi off a naked person and I was going to like it! Well, last night it happened. I ate sushi off a beautiful naked woman — twice. Her name was Ms. Kitty and she has a shell-fish allergy, but with some leaves between her skin and the sushi everything went swimmingly (fish puns), though it has to be said that she’s a serious trooper.

The Everything to do with Sex Show opens today, Nov. 2nd, so last night was a raunchy kick-off to what’s bound to be an even raunchier weekend. Upon arrival we were escorted upstairs where there was a room that was all bed (no filler) as well as several bed-like-couch things lining adjoining rooms with baskets of condoms and Lysol wipes on each side table. I must say that beyond the human sushi boat, one of the most interesting things I found was how they were able to keep their signage safe-sex informative, yet cuddly — it’s what I imagine signs would like should Disney World open an up-scale sex club.

Before the party I did a bit of research so I would be able to spot the celebrity guests, whose claims to fame varied from porn star to sex columnist to dirty hypnotist, and I was lucky enough to bump into the gorgeous Taylor Stevens, who is a self-made webcam starlet, right off the top. I had been on her website earlier that day, which has shot after shot of her very impressive cleavage, and as a gal who isn’t as stacked up there all I could think about while talking to her was how badly I wanted to compliment her boobs, but somehow I managed to keep that under my hat and talk shop — who knows, I may want to start my own webcam biz someday and she’d be the best person to ask for some advice. She told me she was met with many naysayers when she was embarking on this journey and these haters’ main reason? They thought she was too big for the industry when she started.

It was Stevens’ candour on this matter that really drew me into her, as I have also struggled with my size and what that means for my sexuality, and the fact that she was so open and dismissive about the idea that her size at the time could qualify as an issue, gave me in one word: hope. I felt hope because we need successful women in such industries speaking out honestly and with pride in their voice about those extra curves that so easily draw criticism, when there is absolutely no need for it — and she knew it. Her words for all those people who nit-picked her size in the beginning? “Just watch me.”

As the night progressed outfits became less on and more off, and that includes patrons who had taken a dip in the heated outdoor pool and rejoined the party wrapped in towels. I also saw Ms. Kitty downstairs wrapped in one of those towels, so hopefully that means she was able to wash any shell-fish residue away — I couldn’t get over her, she has that kind of super chill attitude I feel I can only aspire to. The night ended with a burlesque/pole dancing performance complete with a stripped off kimono to reveal nipple tassels, and I knew my night was complete.

Tickets are still available for purchase to the Everything to do with Sex Show where you’ll find essentially all of what I just mentioned plus much, much more. And congratulations are due to Ryan LaPlante who won the pair of tickets I had to give away to the ETDWSS, but don’t let that stop you from checking out the gals, the guys, and above all, the skin! Maybe I’ll see you there? I’ll be the girl with her own brand new pair of nipple tassels, I hear they’re the new hot accessory for winter 2012.

Burlesque-venture by hallaek
August 8, 2010, 9:51 pm
Filed under: Fashion | Tags: , ,

Warning: post contains T&A.
Tila and I have decided that we do not appreciate Toronto enough. Most people probably don’t, easier to go places you know, same old, same old – so we have been planning adventures. Our first one was supposed to be to a burlesque club called Jezebel which we found on blogTO:

The entrance is (or rather was) at the rear of the building that you can only get to by walking down an alley…so we walked down an alley…in an area we are unfamiliar with, in too high heels. I’d say our adventure was already going well.

We see the Jezebel sign and then two doors, one with a handle and one without, but with a peephole. The one with the handle is locked so I figured that it must be really cool and secretive and you have to knock on the door sans handle and then they’d check you out through the peephole before they let you in, or not if they decided you weren’t cool or mysterious enough. I obviously made Tila knock. Obviously nobody answered. Obviously…I’m insane. Anyway, we wandered across the street and what did we find? Burlesque! The burlesque gods weren’t letting us end the night without seeing some nipple tassels first. She was kind of dressed like Snow White, or how one would imagine Snow White to look were she about to dance on a bar and strip to covers of old 90s tunes. The place was called The Painted Lady and had fringe lamps and velvet couches, so that plus on-bar burlesque kind of made up for the night we had imagined, but there was no way we could take “tourist” like photos. We stuck out, and not cause of our purdy mugs.

Where we’ll try to secret-code-knock our way into next? Hopefully some place where the entrance is (or rather was) not in an alleyway.

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