I wear black

Sexy Sushi at the Everything to do with Sex Show Launch Party by hallaek

Last night I attended the launch party for the Everything to do with Sex Show at Oasis Aqua Lounge, and was able to cross a little something off my bucket list. When I was 15 during TIFF I walked by a basement restaurant and peered in to see naked people covered in sushi as guests casually mingled around, every so often taking a bite of spicy salmon. I had never seen anything like it, besides in the movies, but decided in that moment that one day I was going to eat sushi off a naked person and I was going to like it! Well, last night it happened. I ate sushi off a beautiful naked woman — twice. Her name was Ms. Kitty and she has a shell-fish allergy, but with some leaves between her skin and the sushi everything went swimmingly (fish puns), though it has to be said that she’s a serious trooper.

The Everything to do with Sex Show opens today, Nov. 2nd, so last night was a raunchy kick-off to what’s bound to be an even raunchier weekend. Upon arrival we were escorted upstairs where there was a room that was all bed (no filler) as well as several bed-like-couch things lining adjoining rooms with baskets of condoms and Lysol wipes on each side table. I must say that beyond the human sushi boat, one of the most interesting things I found was how they were able to keep their signage safe-sex informative, yet cuddly — it’s what I imagine signs would like should Disney World open an up-scale sex club.

Before the party I did a bit of research so I would be able to spot the celebrity guests, whose claims to fame varied from porn star to sex columnist to dirty hypnotist, and I was lucky enough to bump into the gorgeous Taylor Stevens, who is a self-made webcam starlet, right off the top. I had been on her website earlier that day, which has shot after shot of her very impressive cleavage, and as a gal who isn’t as stacked up there all I could think about while talking to her was how badly I wanted to compliment her boobs, but somehow I managed to keep that under my hat and talk shop — who knows, I may want to start my own webcam biz someday and she’d be the best person to ask for some advice. She told me she was met with many naysayers when she was embarking on this journey and these haters’ main reason? They thought she was too big for the industry when she started.

It was Stevens’ candour on this matter that really drew me into her, as I have also struggled with my size and what that means for my sexuality, and the fact that she was so open and dismissive about the idea that her size at the time could qualify as an issue, gave me in one word: hope. I felt hope because we need successful women in such industries speaking out honestly and with pride in their voice about those extra curves that so easily draw criticism, when there is absolutely no need for it — and she knew it. Her words for all those people who nit-picked her size in the beginning? “Just watch me.”

As the night progressed outfits became less on and more off, and that includes patrons who had taken a dip in the heated outdoor pool and rejoined the party wrapped in towels. I also saw Ms. Kitty downstairs wrapped in one of those towels, so hopefully that means she was able to wash any shell-fish residue away — I couldn’t get over her, she has that kind of super chill attitude I feel I can only aspire to. The night ended with a burlesque/pole dancing performance complete with a stripped off kimono to reveal nipple tassels, and I knew my night was complete.

Tickets are still available for purchase to the Everything to do with Sex Show where you’ll find essentially all of what I just mentioned plus much, much more. And congratulations are due to Ryan LaPlante who won the pair of tickets I had to give away to the ETDWSS, but don’t let that stop you from checking out the gals, the guys, and above all, the skin! Maybe I’ll see you there? I’ll be the girl with her own brand new pair of nipple tassels, I hear they’re the new hot accessory for winter 2012.

Fall-ing to pieces by hallaek

Get it? It was originally just “Falling to Pieces”, but I saw the chance to joke it up and goodness knows I can never pass up a good (or bad…mostly bad) joke. This is somewhat TIFF Part 3, but eff it, let’s get collage-y with it, and by that I mean random. So from a bust wrist, to the flu, to messing up my hip and knee: life is great. Have you ever tried sleeping through the night while fever dreams attack you and your entire right side is out of commission? It’s actually kind of hilarious…I had to keep changing positions due to my injuries and in my half-awake, half-asleep, nightmare-ish state my fever convinced me I was a model trying to sell my bed. Oh yeah, it was about 6:30pm. And I don’t think I sold it very well.

"Meek's Cutoff"

Moving on! TIFF Part 3 happened Tuesday, September 14 and that was the end for us; no more movies I really wanted to see. We saw a family friend’s film, “Meek’s Cutoff” which isn’t well-known, but Michelle Williams is in it along with Will Patton (“Armageddon”!) and Shirley Henderson (“Bridget Jones’ Diary”!) so that’s how I was able to get my little sister excited about it – even though I don’t think she’s ever seen either “Armageddon” or “Bridget Jones’ Diary”…I guess she humoured me. (Paul Dano was also in it, the brother from “Little Miss Sunshine”…he’s cute.) We got to be “with the film” – thank you, Anish Savjani – and when Shirley (or Bridget’s BFF) sat beside my sister and then Will sat right behind us…okay, I know someone other than myself must be a fan of both these films. And I mean “I’ve seen this movie so many times and it still makes me emotional” kind of fan. Okay, now imagine both those soundtracks together, meeting above my head – mind-blowing. And that, friends, is what was going through my mind. Odd? Perhaps, but imagine it happening with two movies you actually love, exactly, don’t be hating. The movie was quite good, a bit much for my sister who was inching for her blackberry the whole time and probably would’ve reached it had I not anticipated her every bb-aimed move, but she’s 15 and doesn’t count. It was slow to start and took some effort to get involved in, but once you made it past that it was a very tight and small ensemble, relationships were well done and it’s refreshing to see a film that really relied on its’ actors. It definitely attracts a niche audience, and if you are in that niche (you know who you are) it’s worth seeing. I’m afraid I didn’t take any pictures of the event or with any of the actors (as much as I was dying to), but we were “with” them and I wanted to seem cool and not like myself who is far from. But I got to wear a pair of YSLs that have such a scary heel I had been too scared to wear them until there came an event where I knew I wouldn’t be walking or standing much, so just perfect.


Alright, fashion lately – loved going through all the photos that keep popping up on Twitter. In the collections I liked the most there were a lot of longer hemlines, lots o’ waists, and draping!  A fitted waist and a longer hemline looks great on most body types (including mine) and I’m always a fan of draping due to its chic hiding abilities for when I need it. But whenever I look at pictures of runway shows I always look at one thing first: shoes. Who won? Pretty obvious. Alexander Wang. In my eyes, he can do no wrong. There’s a bit of controversy over him not really being a true “designer”, but arguments like that are ridiculous. I saw the pictures, I liked, I zoomed in on shoes, I choked on my Diet Coke – I think that means success. I also really liked the shoes at Rodarte and Prada although I disagree with the hubbub over Prada’s show overall – the clothes…not so much.

I did really like the clothes at Alexander Wang (of course), Jeremy Laing and Preen. And the gold lips and gold accents at Rodarte looked great, but I’m keeping the list short for now. Maybe when I’m a millionaire I’ll have a longer list, but for now I’ll ohh and ahh at a condensed list of the “essentials”.

Jeremy Laing & Preen

What I do find a bit odd is that up until the various fashion weeks started all the fashion magazines were tweeting about plus size models from Crystal Renn’s obvious weight loss to plus size models outshining “regular” (lack of a better word) models, but I didn’t see any of that come the shows. There are separate shows for plus size (woo?), but I was watching a repeat of Project Runway last night in which the designers had real women as their models and most were freaking out and claiming it wouldn’t be possible to make the dresses in the time allotted due to their sizes. Aha. The issue. I’m not sure how to offer a solution to this, and maybe I’m a bit slow, but for some reason I never saw the face of blame as that of the designer, I always just assumed it was whomever took charge as the designer is just the creativity that goes into the collection. Something to mull over.

P.S. Find everything at either Vogue or Style.com

P.P.S. Watch this video! Vote for it here!

TIFF Part 2 – Sunday, September 12 by hallaek

Thanks to some more same-day tickets, Tila and I were lucky enough to get tickets to the premieres of “You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger” and “Vanishing on 7th Street”. And thanks to a nice break between the two were able to have real dinner and take real photos! The break was actually a bit too long so ‘real photos’ turned into extended-photo-shoot-please-no-more, but with my posing skills it’s always better to take a million because then we don’t end up with a lone photo in which I look like a sparkly hobo.

"You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger"

“You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger” was directed by Woody Allen and starred a bunch o’ people; click the poster. It was a very typical Woody Allen film so it was good, but started to drag closer to the end and then didn’t really have an ending (little did I know this was to be theme of our films for tonight). No Antonio, which was very sad and no Naomi Watts which wasn’t as sad – sorry, Naomi. It was pretty cool to hear Woody Allen speak and joke about his celebrity and seeing Anthony Hopkins blush at his standing ovation entrance so moments like that alone are reason enough to want to see films at the TIFF. Freida Pinto was wearing a beautiful McQueen dress and Dev Patel sat in the audience with her which were exciting moments for Tila and me – yes, a nice dress is an exciting moment. Lots of fun moments to report, not much more to say about the film. The actors were great as expected, the narration and music was fun, and Antonio Banderas is a sexy, sexy beast. Then in a move to beat the crowds trying to exit the theatre that were either at a complete stand still or taking tiny little baby steps towards the exits we slipped out the front doors, walked the opposite way down the red carpet now lined with cameras expecting the next film. We only got caught at the end because Tila wanted to wait at the entrance for the next cast and director of the following movie to arrive when we found ourselves outside in the circle of volunteers with linked arms for the security of the actors to come. Way to be smooth.

"Vanishing on 7th Street"

“Vanishing on 7th Street” starred Hayden Christensen and Thandie Newton. It was weird and scary especially sitting as close as we were. But it also didn’t have an ending. I know it leaves it open to blah, blah, blah, but I’m old-fashioned and I like legit endings…please and thank you. It was pretty weird, but with horror movies/thrillers being what they are lately, weird is appreciated. It was a lot like a zombie or apocalyptic movie, but with a villain we’d never seen before. I think it’s because I was looking for the villain that I was upset about the lack of a concrete ending. In zombie movies we know it’s some disease or what have you and the zombies are the issue and in apocalypse movies I think it’s pretty clear, but this movie was just full of constant questions. I did like it despite my grumbles about the ending and Hayden Christensen and the man we suspect is his brother are dreamy. Celebrity or not I always like staring at dreamy men, so I’ll take it!

Otherwise I treated myself to a large beer in a stupid glass, Tila and I discovered her outdoor patio and its usefulness in watching the people in the pool area, and my top becomes see through. It is not see through in real life, it’s the flash, I swear. I went a bit more “casual” (Alexander Wang loafer wedges + pants) , it was a Sunday after all, but from our seat in the front balcony at the first film I couldn’t help but think that my overly sparkly top half must have been distracting someone…or multiple someones.

One more TIFF post. By TIFF night #3 I had mastered getting pictures of the outfit and lost all skill in actually documenting the event, words will have to do.

P.S. Ugg + Jimmy Choo? Yes, please.
P.P.S. Alexander Wang shoes S/S 2011? Yes, yes, please.
P.P.P.S. Casey Affleck didn’t hold out long, he revealed this past Friday that “I’m Still Here” wasn’t a real documentary. Having seen it, going back and forth with myself over whether it was real or not and now knowing this…it’s brilliant. Well done, Casey Affleck and Joaquin Phoenix, but especially Joaquin. Now I most definitely have to see it again.

TIFF Part 1 – Friday, September 10 by hallaek

So way back when I was a crazy-hormone-raging-teen I used to stalk Orlando Bloom. There. I said it. I won’t go into the details of the stalking, but do keep in mind that I throw the word “stalking” around very loosely. I was just a girl in love. Moving on, my first love led me to the film festival which led me to loving the thrill of attending premiere events which lead to a crazy two weeks in grade 12 when I missed a lot of school, but it was all for film education. Then I went away and TIFF time meant being jealous of everyone in Toronto from three hours away, but this year it was once again my turn to be one of those lucky Toronto people! Thank you TIFF for same day tickets. Tila and I saw three movies this past Friday: “Everything Must Go”, “I’m Still Here”, and “SUPER”. The night as conducted by the films went as such: expected, expected unexpected, and unexpected.

"Everything Must Go"

“Everything Must Go” starred Will Ferrell and Rebecca Hall and was good. No, it was nice. Just nice. It was in the same realm of Ferrell films as “Stranger Than Fiction” (which I really, really liked), but the story itself just wasn’t as compelling. I think Ferrell is actually good at playing more serious characters, and it’s nice to see him not always playing the clown, and although I was never really bored during the film I was always waiting for something to happen. I’ll pretend this is a movie website for a second and rate it…I rate it: rent it. Look at me taking on the hat of film critic – I realize how ridiculous a rating like “rent it” sounds on this blog and from me, but let me have my moment. Ferrell did play the clown when he first entered the stage rolling on the TIFF podium and during Q&A when he took the title of “Funniest Man Alive” (or “in America” can’t remember) when someone referred to him as such in a question and he continuously had anyone and himself refer to him as nothing but. It was amusing to see him joke around; that was probably the best part of the screening. Rebecca Hall was also wearing great shoes (which you’ll see in the picture) and I bet they were Nicholas Kirkwood and by golly was I right! I’ll link info to them after.

"I'm Still Here"

“I’m Still Here”…the documentary by Casey Affleck about Joaquin Phoenix being a crazy man. W.T.F. No clue what to say about it. Neither showed though a little boy dressed like him did and a little girl with a love sign for crazy ol’ Joaquin.

Baby Joaquin & lady friend courtesy of CTV

Lots of coke done on-screen, a few hookers, obvious use of other drugs, yelling and mumbling, hilarious raps (completely serious for him though), unwarranted attacks on friends and celebrities alike and wanting constant attention, but at the same time wanting no attention – this guy has problems. After we saw it we figured he didn’t come because he was still crazy and this would all be too much and he would snap and crazy would be everywhere, til we found out he’s not crazy anymore and attended the Venice Film Festival for the same film. I did think it was the portrait of a sad and lost man, and now that he’s sane again I really have no clue. We’ll probably never know. But it was one of the funniest movies I’ve seen in a while. Obviously we were all killing ourselves laughing at him, but people love to do that so the movie rocked in that sense. Honestly, just see it. No one can describe it to you, you have to see it for yourself.

*I didn’t have this initially, but then I thought about it and felt bad so here it is: Spoiler Alert.*


“SUPER” was just super! I obviously had to do that. Dwight (Rainn Wilson), Liv Tyler, Ellen Page were there, Kevin Bacon wasn’t. All I knew was Dwight was going to be a superhero, sounds solid…I had no clue what was really going to happen on that screen. It was a lot like “Kick-Ass” – normal people become superheros, and also shockingly gory like “Kick-Ass” was, but “SUPER” was so much better. The gore comes out of no where and is disgusting, but hilarious. Actually disgusting, but hilarious is a great way to describe a lot that happens in the movie like a rape scene between Ellen Page and Rainn Wilson (spoiler: she rapes him.) Dwight is all grown up and actually a lethal threat, I’ll take it. There were also dancing cartoons at the beginning which I really liked, it made me feel warm and happy and gushy. Please see this movie whenever it comes out and then re-read this little blurb about it, hehehe. But actually see it, I’ll come with, I want to see it again.

One last thing before pictures… It was a long night, we barely had time to eat let alone snap any real outfit pictures. Tila did bully me into it at the end of the night, but I was very cranky and for some reason my entire outfit looks pink, so it’s not making the cut and one of her paparazza pictures will have to suffice. Tila’s looks great though. Bitch.

So as I said (typed) earlier Rebecca Hall’s shoes are Nicholas Kirkwood and you can see an up close picture of the shoes in brown here or if you’re super into them you can buy them in taupe from Bluefly! And my shoes are my first real Winners find since my emerald green Marc Jacobs that I got in 2003 – I think…it was a long time ago, I know that much. If you read StyleBubble (you should read it) you’ve seen her baby blue mesh and lucite Stella McCartney shoes from S/S 2009, well I now have their baby pink girlfriend! She initially found them kind of ugly, but she wears them so often in her blog and they’re just so cool looking! Mesh + lucite + hint of gold = a’ok in my books. The second I saw mesh I dove for them and I couldn’t believe they were the same pair, thank you Winners-Shoe-Gods. I do kind of look like a sparkly, black-clad hobo who stole a Chanel bag, but maybe that’s the look I was going for to highlight the shoes…

Part 2 has more sparkles and less hobo, I promise.

P.S. While ‘tweeting’ at “Everything Must Go” I saw that Amanda DiPaq from the blog Not A Model was also at the movie! I was definitely more excited about that then the film, and will admit I looked around trying to find her as opposed to anxiously awaiting Will Ferrell like most people in the audience. But then she followed me on Twitter and my obvious looking around was redeemed in my eyes. Anyway, check out her blog!

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