I wear black


Everything to do with SEX (also, free tickets) by hallaek

I have a pair tickets to give away to the Everything to do with Sex Show, which is running in Toronto in the South Building of the Metro Toronto Convention Centre from November 2-4.

Want these tickets? Then tweet me @hallaek and tell me what you’re looking forward to checking out at the ETDWSS, also make sure to hashtag your tweet #YYZsex and include a mention of the ‘Sex Show at @The_Sex_Show.

If you’ve ever been in contact with me, and I mean even minimal-barely-know-my-name contact, then you know my mum is an OBGYN. No, I’m not telling you what that stands for. Yes, you’ll have to google it yourself. And yes, I suppose it is a bit odd that that’s a piece of information about myself I share more freely than my horoscope, but let’s just call it a quirk. An upbringing with such a mother (who as George W. Bush once put in is in the business of “women loving”) has certainly had an effect on how I view womanhood and sex; in other words for me it is and always has been very open.

Now that you know more about me, and that’s whether you wanted such personal information or not, it should come as no surprise that I am drawn to the Everything to do with Sex Show. It’s no secret that women in the past had been given less leeway when it comes to embracing sex and sexuality since usually it came with a less than desirable label, and while we’re not completely out of the woods yet, it is thanks to initiatives like the Everything to do with Sex Show that a topic that was once taboo and in the shadows can come into the light and be embraced with a ‘good-times’ spirit.

A couple years ago I was looking for something to do that would make me sweat (heyo!) and wasn’t the gym, when I came across pole dancing classes. I had a whole mess of misconceptions about what I was getting myself into prior to the class: that it’d be full of pros, that I’d be laughed out for my awkward idea of ‘sexy,’ and worst of all I kept asking myself, “What am I going to tell people I’m doing when they ask?” While I wasn’t afraid of telling my parents that my new extra-curricular was working it out on a brass pole, since there had always been this open-ness thanks to mom, I was worried about what my friends, acquaintances, co-workers, and anyone else who asked why I was busy Tuesday and Thursday nights would think.

When I got to the class, everything changed. This wasn’t a place where how sexy the woman beside you is was put into competition, and it certainly wasn’t a place where anyone laughed if your sexy improv dancing between moves was questionable. It was a place where you let go of any hold-ups you had outside the room and just accepted your sexuality for what it was, and you got to stretch and dance a bit and have fun while you were at it. I remember walking in to my first advanced class a few months later and upon seeing my new classmates I found myself thinking all those negative things again, and then regretted being the curvy girl in tight shorts — even though I had thought they looked banging before I left the house — beside all these lithe, pole-spinning beauties. Of course, all the women in there were just as lovely, open, and supportive as everyone else I had met so far in this adventure, but I had such strongly pronounced pre-conceived notions about what I thought sexy was supposed to be based on general and public opinion, that it was easy to revert back to that place.

I’ve learned a lot from living with the person I was lucky enough to get as a mom, and my experience pole dancing opened my eyes to some of the stereotypes I was holding onto and thankfully dismissed them. I left that class comfortable with what my version of sexy was, open to the fact that there are just as many personalities within sexuality as within fashion, and just generally feeling more confident. At The Everything to do with Sex Show you’ll find this environment: a place where sexuality is fluid, fun, and easy-going. And if my tale of pole dancing has intrigued you, then look no further than the ETDWSS as a starting point since their Sexy Fitness Zone includes a few pole dancing demonstrations, as well as other fun ways to exercise sexily like partnered yoga and hoola-hooping. And the more I try to picture what sexy fitness hoola-hooping entails the more curious I am — I’m definitely going to be watching that demonstration, and maybe I’ll have a new extra-curricular to spring on my parents.

The ETDWSS also includes a ‘Lace and Latex’ fashion show, burlesque performances, an exotic male review, and a hypnotist. Add erotic art and rooms specifically for the kink you love and the Everything to do with Sex Show has a little bit of something for everyone. Wait, did I forget to mention that there would be Canadian Playboy cover models there? Yeah. You should go to the ‘Sex Show.